Daddy Issues

Is it really true that if a girl is stone cold fuck nuts it can be traced back to her relationship with her father? Yes. It all starts that one day when sitting in a restaurant and daddy's little girl keeps trying to snuggle up to her fathers arm and her father says, "Not now honey you are bugging me". Yep, at that very second his baby girl decides to be a cock sucking, anal plunging, semen squealing, double penetrating, younger brother fucking whore. Okay, that example maybe a little exaggerated so ignore the "younger" part of the brother fucking comment. Regardless, daddy issues usually stem from the smallest thing as to not paying enough attention to her. 

A woman with daddy issues will:

be a stripper.  This is probably because she didn’t get enough attention from the most important man in her life.  So, in an attempt to get lots of attention from any man, she’ll take her clothes off and let him tell her that he loves her and take his money.

A man with mommy issues will:

A woman with daddy issues will:

fuck you because you told her you don’t find her attractive.  Why?  Because she needs male approval.

A man with mommy issues will:

think that any woman will fuck any man. This guy’s mom probably was a bit on the trampy side.  Not every woman wants to have Sex with every man.  In fact, most Women have pretty high standards.  If you’re having sex with a girl who you told was unattractive, she may have daddy issues, but your mommy issues are what allow you to think it’s okay to say that to her and then have sex with her and never call her again.

A woman with daddy issues will:

date a man who is significantly older than her.  This one is kind of self explanatory.  If a woman had a bad relationship with her father-or no relationship with her father-she will try to replace him with her boyfriend.

A man with mommy issues will:

expect his girlfriend to do everything for him.  He is unable to do his own laundry, make his bed, cook his dinner, balance his checkbook or perhaps even wipe his own ass.  He doesn’t know how to do any of these things.  It may be that his mother always did it for him.  Or, it may be that his mother wasn’t around to teach him how to do these things.  There is no need to differentiate between the two.  This guy needs a woman to take care of him because he is unable to do it himself.

A woman with daddy issues will:

date a man who takes all of her money.

A man with mommy issues will:

be that guy who takes all of his girlfriend’s money.

A woman with daddy issues will:

be a slut.

A man with mommy issues will:

A woman with daddy issues will:

A man with mommy issues will:

claim that all women who won’t sleep with him are sluts.  I’m not sure exactly how this works, but he has a way of rationalizing it.

 A woman with daddy issues will:

 hate your friends.

A man with mommy issues will:

think his girlfriend is trying to sleep with his friends.

A woman with daddy issues will:

fuck your brains out until you become her boyfriend.  Then, she will have a constant headache. 

A man with mommy issues will:

A woman with daddy issues will:

A man with mommy issues will:

either get a bad case of beer muscles or cry at a Master Card commercial when he drinks.

A woman with daddy issues will: 

A man with mommy issues will:

 Daddy Issues

DISCLAIMER:  I have an awesome dad.  He is the coolest.  I do not have daddy issues.  I had to ask my friend, Retep, for examples of daddy issues.  The mommy issue part is all from my own personal experiences. "MP"

In a perfect world, men with mommy issues would only date women with daddy issues.  They’d have a wonderful life together.  It wouldn’t be a household that I’d want to see a child raised in, but they’d be perfect for each other. owever, this is not a perfect world.  You may be dating a woman with daddy issues.  You may be the guy with mommy issues.  (If you just got mad at me for saying that, you have mommy issues.)  Here’s the thing, if you are the guy with the mommy issues, you have a couple of options. You can either get over it.  Or, you can look for the woman with daddy issues.  Either way, you’re fucked up too.  You’re mad at your mom, not at me!