Why Your Girlfriend Keeps Talking To Her Ex

1)    They really are just friends.  Some relationships should have probably never gotten out of the Friend Zone to begin with.  They may have tried to date and realized that it is just entirely too awkward, so they went back to being friends.  This can only work if both your girlfriend and her guy friend really do think that the idea of them dating was just plain silly.  If she wants to be friends and he wants more (or vice versa), they’re not really “just friends”.  One of them wants something more.  In my opinion, an ex is an ex for a reason, and probably a pretty good reason.  I’m not friends with them because I probably don’t really even like them as a person anymore.  I have on ex who insisted on “staying friends”.  It didn’t work.  As soon as I started dating again, he got crazy jealous.  I realized then that “just friends” wasn’t going to work with him.

2)    She’s keeping tabs on him.  This is usually the guy she only has as a Facebook friend.  She’ll check his status, look at his pictures and see who is writing on his wall.  She’s doing this to make sure he hasn’t upgraded more than she has.  Gentlemen, this is a good thing.  She thinks you’re a better catch than him, but she just wants to make sure he doesn’t get a better catch than her.  Don’t worry about this guy.  He’s not coming back into the picture.

3)    She’s being an exhibitionist.  She wants this guy to see what he’s missing out on.  Again, he’s probably only a Facebook friend, but he may also be someone she talks to occasionally in real life.  Again, you have nothing to worry about.  She’s only keeping in touch with him because she wants him to see what he lost.  Yeah, I know, most of you men don’t care.  But, we Women like to think that you’re all secretly thinking that we’re the one that got away.  Let us live in this fantasy land.  Plus, there’s a good chance she’ll be raving about how wonderful/sexy/funny/smart/rich/well hung you are when she’s talking to him.  Take this as a compliment.

4)    He won’t go away.  He’s like a bad penny.  She’s deleted him from Facebook.  She’s changed her phone number.  She’s moved to a new apartment.  She’s gotten a new identity.  And, still, he just won’t go away.  He finds her friends on Facebook and keeps up with them.  This guy probably still uses MySpace to try to contact her.  Go ahead, if your girlfriend has this guy in her life, tell her to check her MySpace account, which she probably hasn’t done in a couple of years.  There will most likely be a message or 40 from him.  He somehow knows where she’s going to be and shows up there.  He is being a stalker.  This is somebody to worry about.  He will try to start trouble.  He will try to get her to come back to him.  She doesn’t want to get back together with him.  She wants him to disappear from the face of the Earth.  He gets some kind of sick, twisted pleasure of out upsetting her.  He will start shit with you if he can.  He will try to convince you that your girlfriend is a horrible person or still in Love with him.  Do not fall for his tricks.  This is where you need to man up and kick his ass.  I’m serious here.   Your girlfriend wants you to be the Alpha male right now.  Don’t put him in the hospital or anything that extreme, and, in fact, if you could get him to throw the first punch so you can claim self-defense, that would be awesome.  But your girlfriend wants you to do something.  Most likely, this guy is a total pussy who probably got his rocks off by pushing your girlfriend around.  Think about that for a second.  Yup, he probably was abusive.  Now, do what’s right and take care of him.  If you do it, you will probably get one of the best blow jobs of your life that night.  If you don’t . . . well, we won’t get into that.

5)    She’s still hung up on him.  This man has some kind of power over her, and she just can’t let him go.  You (the new boyfriend) are a pretty good substitute.  However, if for some reason this guy says he wants her back, you’re out the door.  This is the polar opposite of reason #4.  That guy won’t go away.  This guy-she doesn’t want him to go away.  She wants to keep him sort of close.  I say “sort of close” because she knows the power he has over her.  If he comes too close, she’ll lose all control and probably throw away the great thing that she has with you just to get her heart broken again.  She doesn’t want to have her heart broken again.  However, she also has a fantasy in her head of what life would be like if this guy would just come to his senses.  Don’t fight with her about this guy.  You will lose.  She has him on a pedestal.  There is nothing you can do about it.  

To those of you gentlemen who have been able to pay attention for this long, I congratulate you.  Here is the biggest tip I can give you:  Your girlfriend had a life before you, and she’ll have a life after you.  I’m sure all of you have been one of these guys in the past.  There’s no shame in that. (Okay, you should be ashamed if you were #4, but otherwise you’re fine.)  If your girlfriend has one of these ever-present ex-boyfriends in her life, find out which on of these guys it is.  I can tell you right now.  Show her this article.  Ask her to point out which one he is.  Then, you’ll know how to handle the situations.

PS-If she get’s really pissed at you, he’s guy #5.  Sorry.