So recently my friend got involved with a woman who he thought was a bright shinning star of promise. At face value she was a hottie. She had blond hair, a plus, petite frame, a plus, flat stomach, a plus, decent breasts, a plus, and a pretty face. He seemed confident and happy about it. However, things started to change once my friend told me she was getting separated. A red flag loomed over my head and I started to worry. If you ever find yourself dating someone who says they are getting separated, please heed this warning of what might turn into a sociopathic whore and the hell she can bring to your life.
First of all let me tell you briefly about my friend. He is a good looking guy, very career oriented and always thinking about the bottom line. He is good to his parents and is always punctual on his word to his friends. He does however have a big problem with Women. He gets so involved in excelling in his career he forgets or has little time to notice the female dichotomy of reality. I guess what I’m saying is that he is naive as it matters to SOME women’s intentions. So when he does get around to dating he ends up finding gold digging whores who turn out to be completely psycho.
It all started at a bar where he lucked out by using the Myrick Maneuver hookup method and scored the phone number of a hot bartender. After he went on a date with her he discovered she recently passed the bar and was in fact an attorney (This is probably the only true thing she has ever told him). So now he is thinking he has made a very clever find and is anxious to explore it further. So he asks her out and the mitosis of her sociopathic behavior began to emerge.
My friend began to tell our friends that he was seeing a new girl and he thought it might turn into something serious. He then began to turn down random ass out of respect to his new found lady friend. I immediately thought, “Oh shit, he likes her, he likes her”. So I asked, “Why don’t you invite her out with us”. He said, “Well she doesn’t go out on the weekends because she works”. I said, huh, well do you spend the night with her afterward? He said, “Na she’s pretty tired and wants to go to sleep”. I’m like, “Does this girl have a boyfriend or something?” He says no, she is recently legally separated”.
Wow. Legally separated you say? A lawyer who is still a bartender at night is legally separated. My bullshit detector went off so fast I think I shat down my leg. So I began asking questions. Why the hell is she still a bartender? How often do you see her? Have you ever spent the night at her place? What are her friends like boys/girls? Is she on birth control? Do y’all fight any etc? Well the long and short of those questions was, she doesn’t have a lot of girlfriends, no he hasn’t spent the night at her house, he sees her during the day (when she fucks him at his house), she claims to be on birth control, and she argues with him a lot about his privacy.
The relationship began to take a nose dive when she asked him, “Why won't you let look though your emails or text messages” while they were having Sex. Yea, the bitch asked this when he was inside of her. The nose dive continued when she met some of our friends including myself. I already hated her, and I made it obvious. She actually was very flirtatious with another one of our friends who in fact invented the previously mentioned hookup method. She said things like, “Hey I can watch your dog when you go to Florida next month”. Just weird shit like that to a guy she doesn’t even know. She then started texting his same friend randomly. Well he started to get angry but my friend who is fucking the sociopathic whore shows no emotions. He is the man of mystery. You can not get a reaction out of him and this drives bitches crazy. This is the one attribute he has that most men do not have and it serves him well.
Well my friend started to question things after I pointed out all of her idiosyncrasies of her social being. I said, “The bitch is still married and her husband still lives with her dude.” He was in denial and I don’t mean inside Jewel D’nyle. Meanwhile the bitch is breaking up with him every other day over gay shit. Well, she was trying to establish a way out of her pole position which my friend was ahead. Again, his unwillingness to care or show emotion made her think she wasn’t going to win. So she always tried to sucker him back in and he always fell for it. After all, he was getting laid and for some reason he was fascinated by her break down of social cohesion.
So this whore, who is a lawyer would come to his place during lunch and fuck his brains out. She would tell him she loves him and wanted to be with him. She said she was moving to New York and wanted to take him with her. My friend of course asked why she was moving there and she said she got a job offer as a CEO of a company she would not name and a boss who she would not name. She also said she would get my friend a job there with a 250,000.00 signing bonus. Are you reading this? This bitch is a sociopathic liar! From a cheap whore bartender, to I sucked all the professors’ dicks at law school to being made imaginary delusional CEO of a pretend company in New York City. Yea, go get hit by a grey hound bus you piece of shit whore.
The whole New York incident was very unsettling. My friend couldn’t understand how the hell she could lie about something that serious. I told him that she just wanted to see if he would follow her there. As in, say yes lets go there I am willing to move for you. It was just a power trip to see if he would conform to her will. All she needed was a yes. This way she could break up with him knowing she had won. Of course he never answered her and only asked more questions that met no answers. This drove her further over the brink of self adulterating destruction.
I bet you are wondering why the hell he continued to fall for her bullshit? Well it’s complicated. He believes in raw science and only science can reveal the truth. Well, science can not test the social behavior of human nature. Nothing is scientific about that other than comparing what normal people do against crazy weird shit that is happening to you right now. I then asked, “What will it take to make you believe she is lying?” Well, without revealing a secret, let’s just say someone found out that the lying whore lawyer was still living with her husband. Yep. I thought it was funny when he said that she said her separation would be finalized in May and then it changed to November. What a lying whore.
Oh it gets even better. My friend then started to realize very slowly that things were not adding up (yea it really took this long). Our friends began to lose patience with him over this lying whore lawyer who cheats on her husband. So one night he tells her for the first time that he is done with her. Big mistake. The bitch shows up at his house and walks right into his room. My first reaction was, why the hell don’t you lock your front door you dumb ass? Well, she suckered him back in briefly with ravenous whore sex using the only true talent her genes possessed. He convinced her to take it in the ass because he loved her to and he wanted to express every way he could (that was hilarious).
So once we realized he was still talking to her we began to point out all of her slutty inconsistencies. I said to my friend, "Ok, the first time you nailed this whore she says to you, “Wow I’m used to puddles when guys cum on me”. Let’s bring her home to mom and dad and to grandma funeral. Furthermore, the bitch stalks you. She waits outside of your house until you agree to see her. She also claimed she was pregnant when you stopped talking to her but miraculously it was a false positive when you started talking to her again. She flirts with your friends and texts them but then lies and says they texted first. Well that’s not what the sent file reveals. Is everybody getting this so far?
I mean how much more do you need to convince a guy that he should run away as fast as he can and lock his doors tight? He would always end up believing her. That’s what frustrated us the most. You would think he fell for the first girl he laid but that wasn’t the case. He fell for a pussy selling facade that made him feel he really found a career driven woman of greater or equal status as to his own. Well, to put things in perspective, this is actually the 3rd crazy bitch he has been seriously involved with but by far the most insane. Quite an interesting pattern of women developing here isn’t it?
Are you ready for what happened next? He again tells her he doesn’t want to see her again. She calls him on the phone and he looks out his window. The psycho whore lawyer is in his parking lot. She said, “I want to see you, can I stop by?” He laments but says, “Sure”. She knocks on his door and he confronted her about being in his parking lot the whole time. She denied it and he says "OKAYYYYY". At this point he just wanted to fuck her like the low down dirty Tucker Max dick sucking whore that she is. After he nailed the pure T shit out of her someone enters his house. Loud bangs on his bedroom door “Open up”. Guess who it is? Her fucking husband! Yea, he followed her to his place and now a pinata has exploded.
She quickly puts her scabby whore clothes on and pulls the husband out of the house. She is now outside talking to him. My friend takes her shit and throws it out on the front porch and then calls me. I told him to call the fucking cops and hide in the bath tube. For some reason the husband leaves and she is knocking on his door. He text her to get the fuck out of her and he doesn’t want to see her again. She wouldn’t leave. So he ignored her and went to bed. I guess the crazy whore bitch finally left.
The next day he tells me he is confused. I’m like what is there to be confused about? He said the husband just left and that he only came over because he was worried about her. I said, “Yea I would be worried about my wife fucking some other guy too”. He said, “No, I mean I think they really are getting separated otherwise why would he have just left like that?” I’m staring at him as though I wanted to pull off my show and beat him with it. I calmly responded by saying, “She has him manipulated the same way she has you.” He still was sketchy and irritated. He's lucky the husband didn't shoot his ass.
In all fairness, my friend is more honest than Jesus Christ. No really, the man can not tell a lie even when it’s in his best interest to. I respect him a lot for his genuineness. However, let’s just say he should never ever play black jack in Vegas. So it’s a constant battle to protect him against the vicious lies of this sociopathic whore lawyer. The straw that finally broke the camels back for him is when she got mad at him and embarrassed him in front of his work colleagues at Live After 5. BIG MISTAKE. You do not ever embarrass this guy in front of his networks. He looked at her, turned his back and left. Then the dumb bitch says, “Wait I just want to talk to you”. What a whore. What a lying scabby adulterating whore who needs to spend 5 hours trapped under Dr. Phil’s sweating ass.
So I am downtown having fun. I get a call from him saying he wants to join us. He did. The bitch called the friend who she flirts with and asked her what my address was. WTF? Oh yea because the crazy bitch wanted to drive by to see if he was at my house. The crazy bitch probably tried to look me up on the real estate search website, good luck whore, my shit ain’t in my name (and fuck you too census people!). More over, what guy friend knows the address of their other guy friends? We only know it by sight, stupid whore. So that plan didn’t pan out for her pigeon toed ass.
So everyone is at ease and we are all drinking. All of a sudden I see a black Tahoe pull in front of the pub we were at. It’s her! I look at my friend and say, “She found you, I don’t know how but she found you, RUN FOR IT MARTY!” We ran out of the pub. It was fucking hilarious. The herd was spooked and several other people who we didn’t know ran with us (they thought there was a bomb or something). The crazy slut lawyer went into the pub and began asking bartenders and waitresses if he was there. Seriously the bitch went mental. I was hoping she would get hit by a car in all the confusion.
So he escaped unscathed for the moment. Well wouldn’t you know, the crazy bitch played the hey I’m pregnant card. Yea, again! She text him the next day and said she was pregnant and that’s why she tracked him down. Funny, why the hell was she boozing it up at Live after 5 then? Oh yea because she is a lying adulterating whore lawyer who isn’t really pregnant. Seriously, drop dead of gonorrhea and rot in hell you sodomite. Had I been a girl I would have whooped her ass and stuck her head in the toilet.
Needless to say my friend knows she is a lying piece of shit now. We laugh at her all the time. While she is continuously texting him about her fictitious pregnancy, we are sending messages like, “Have fun raising that bastard child that doesn’t really exist” or “If it’s a girl we can name her after her lying cum puddle loving whore of a mother” or “Let’s name it Jamal after the maintenance guy you fucked at the law firm” or “Thank you for being the source of many jokes and we enjoyed watching the home made pornos, not bad, not good but at least we saw your cooter”.
My friend was worried for a moment that she might be pregnant. He said, “I don’t give a shit if she is, I will have nothing to do with that bastard demon seed”. I said don’t worry, she is not pregnant unless her husband knocked her up and she would make you suffer for nine months before she said it was his. He got worried. I said “I’m just kidding, she is too selfish to have a kid, too young and no one would hire a lawyer who got knocked up for being a whore”. He relaxed a bit. Seriously, she wouldn’t have a kid she just wants to torture you. Moments later she sent him a text saying, “I guess I will take care of your mess”. I was like “See, she’s having a fictitious abortion, you are off the hook”. What a crazy fucking cum puddle loving whore.
I’m thinking to myself, “What can make a woman be this pathetically sociopathically psycho? Then it all made sense to me. Her daddy molested her when she was a kid and probably still sucks his dick! That has to be it! That's why girls who are whores act that way, because their daddy never paid them any attention. Alright, I am out of line. Maybe she wasn’t molested but definitely received no attention from her dad growing up so she gets attention by being her own self inflicted victim. Fucking skank.
Is it over? Hell no. She hasn’t killed herself yet. That is the last card that will be played. She will text him that she miscarried her fictitious baby and that it’s all his fault. Now she is going to kill herself unless he comes (C-O-M-E-S) and stops her. I would text ok I’m on my way over, then drive to her house jerk off in my car and text back in 1990’s fashion, PYSCHE! Now some of you would ask if I would feel guilty if she really offed herself? I would say do you feel sorry for the Duke Lacrosse whore liar who tried to ruin the lives of 3 innocent men? No. If she does kill herself I will put the O-BITCH-uary on itsguycodecom. Alright guys, the moral is, if shit doesn’t add up and 5 of your best friends don’t like her, eject. I hope some of you learned from this.