When you go to the bathroom most of the time you are by yourself and can enjoy. However, when at restaurants, movie theaters, department stores, sporting events or anywhere that has a large bathroom you need to be weary of those around you. First of all, public restrooms are not private and you can't act like you are at home. The last thing you need is to violate the bathroom etiquette and have a group of guys pointing at you when you exit as "that guy" who did something stupid to make all the men in the bathroom feel vulnerable. We have provided an on going list of guidelines for appropriate bathroom etiquette when relieving yourself.
Bathroom Etiquette Guidelines
1. A man must not look at another man while chatting in the men's room. (In fact, a man must avoid talking in the men's room at all.)
2. A mans got to scratch what a mans got to scratch. This applies to picking as well. Let the man be.
3. If you accidentally touch or brush against any part of another man below the waist, it is an understood accident, and NO apologies or any reference to the occurrence is necessary.
4. No man shall spend more than 2 minutes in front of a mirror. If more time is required, a three minute waiting period must be allowed before returning to the mirror.
5. In an empty room, car, etc, a man can not ask another man if he is mad because he isn’t talking.
6. If you jiggle more than twice, you’re playing with it.
7. Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine.
8. When using a urinal in a public restroom, a buffer zone of at least one urinal will exist at all times. If the only empty urinal is directly next to an occupied on, then you are still required to wait. (Exception: at a sporting event where a line has formed to use the pisser).
9. Masturbate often. (Exception: if your roommate is due back within the hour).
10. In a locker room a man may only look at another man's face. Any deviation and the offender lose their manhood.
