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| | | Lonely Old Queen Perez Hilton
Perez Hilton is actually Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr. (born 03/23/1978 in Miami, Florida) and is a proud Cuban all American Gay blogger. You may already know his celebrity trashing blog known as Perezhilton.com (formerly PageSixSixSix.com and thatreallyhurtsmyanus.com), which he writes under his former Mapplethorpe stage name "Perez Hilton". Ok, so we all know who Perez is and that he is a fat lonely old queen who trashes celebrities for their infantile nothingness of being that they are. I am totally for that because I "think" all celebrities are nothing more than the same people you hated in high school save a handful. However, Perez likes freedom of speech just as long as you are not criticizing or making fun of anything that is Homosexual which I think is gay (hahaha get it?).
For all of you who do not know this pig vomit looking old queen, let's explore a quick synopsis of his exploits. Perez graduated from New York University in 2000 with a BS in BS. He tried to become an actor but thought washing dishes at Patis was beneath him. I guess he thought the meat packing district of NYC was really something else to his sad dismay. He briefly worked as a media relations assistant for LGBT rights organization GLAAD, was a freelance writer for gay publications, worked as a receptionist for NYC gay events club Urban Outings, and was briefly the managing editor of Instinct, a gay men's magazine. So, basically he got a job being gay. Very convenient. Perez then realized he could be gay and work for himself.
Perez claims he started blogging "because it seemed easy" and it was a great fantasy to write about all the male celebrities he wished he could sleep with. I think that is why he is so angry. Most of Hollywood is heterosexual and not being able to taste water for what it really is bothered Perez. So he vented in the only way he knew how, as a pissed off lonely bitter clinging old queen. He often posts tabloid photographs over which he has added his own captions or "yellow stick doodles" that resemble wishful thinking penises. His blog has garnered both positive and negative attention for its coming out of the closet sophomoric overtones, its public "outing" of alleged closet homo celebrities and its tabloid-esque internet coverage of celebrities in all forms of media who he "probably" wishes were actually gay.
Perez's double standard for free speech is evident when a non queer makes fun of a gaywads which Perez himself does on a daily basis (in the sack too from what we hear). For instance, he called for the firing of Isaiah Washington from ABC television series Grey's Anatomy for making homophobic remarks to T.R. Knight. However, in early 2007, Perez was criticized by the blog The Hollywood Gossip for ignoring homophobic remarks made by Paris Hilton (from which his namesake comes from). In 2009, Perez ended up as a judge on the Miss USA Pageant and he ridiculed Carrie Prejean (Miss California) for her being against same Sex marriage as it mattered to her spiritual beliefs. I guess as long as you are an overt sodomite or support popping cork screws in other men's asses, you can say whatever you want according to Perez Hilton. But seriously, most people find homosexuality being the last social issue on a list to give a shit about and would prefer perhaps for these lonely queens to keep it in the closet. | | | | | | Perez Hilton Supports Single Sex Marriage
I find it a bit peculiar that Perez would be for any kind of marriage gay or straight. Perez just looks like he belongs in the buffet of dick at Joe's Clam bait. So why would he be advocating a practice that symbolizes unity forsaking all others both foreign and domestic as it matters to a single sex partner? Well, it gives him plenty of face time for all media by being the flamboyant advocate of queer rights. Perez blew up his blog again when the Miss USA Pageant allowed him to be a judge and he crusaded for Buttsecks rights of gay marriage. I mean, Perez a judge on beauty? He looks like a pig being smuggled out of Chicago on a cloudy day being tracked by Prince Humperdinck. I guess what I am trying to say it go sew up your asshole and be lonely you old queen! | | | | | | Glory DaysThis is when Perez you to look somewhat normal. I would say he was still working at Patis in this photo. Seriously, if Perez's blogging didn't work out for him he would have been the first openly gay serial killer.You can tell he is crazy just by looking at his eyes. I mean some of the things he says about people the vituperative thoughts of a person who puts kittens in a microwave level 10. I guess its a good idea that Perez gets his self hatred of not being normal out of his system via blogging. This guy could probably take out Union Square in one sitting if he was not getting the attention he thought he deserved. | | | | | | Perez Hilton Rise To Fame
On March 11, 2005, Perez Hilton's blog was named "Hollywood's Most-Hated Website" by The Insider, catalyzing an initial surge in its popularity which temporarily crippled its server. The blog site was crippled in reminiscent fashion of one of Mike Tyson's former jail cell bitches. Perez claimed that on July 30, 2007, a seemingly "ordinary day," Perezhilton.com had over 8.82 million page views in a 24 hour period. I mean this guy is a walking, talking and fornicating freak show. I think its hilarious. Perez is funny as shit smells just as long as he doesn't rub being gay all over the place as having to be socially acceptable. When he does this it becomes political and most people are apathetic to the political scene and want nothing of it. Here is a hint. Human being make fun of everything! If you get offended just know you are not the only one! Everyone gets it with both barrels! | | | | | | Perez's Gossip Shtick Perez's shtick in the Hollywood world is a gossip and criticize monger. To be honest, it's just what Hollywood needs. These self absorb wieners need a good slap in the famous by this self righteous old queen. There is nothing worse than being made fun of by a Sissy Mary and Perez rubs your face in it. It's like having your younger sister being able to beat you arm wrestling in public. This is what Perez does by giving un-remorseful criticism and sarcasm to celebrities who literally tripped on a lucky break to get famous which Perez reminds them of every chance he gets. Moreover, Perez fills the Hollywood media quota for disgusting fat queers to do interviews and mingles with all the starlets. If you do not acknowledge Perez he will bash your hetero balls or ovaries on his website reminding you that he is the queen of all media and you better kiss the ring! lulz | | | | | |
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