Guy Code Interview with Superman The Elder "Whats it like being able to have Sex with any chick in the world with or without their permission?" Superman "I always have their permission with anything I do." The Elder What was the weirdest place you banged a chick?" Superman "Easter Island" The Elder "Easter Island, whats so weird about that?" Superman "I just found it hard to perform with all the statues watching me" The Elder "So you are shy in real life?" Superman "Well only because I have an image to maintain" The Elder "Do you take dumps being that you are super human?" Superman "Oh fuck yeah, I can let off sulfer clouds likes of which Haleakala could belch." The Elder "Wow, so have you ever had a dump that was bigger than the one the triceratops took in Jurassic Park?" Superman "That was a movie." The Elder "True, well who was the most famous person you had sex with?" Superman "Barbara Walters" The Elder "Your kidding, how long ago was that?" Superman "1982" The Elder "That was the most famous person you serial crushed?" Superman "That is the person I consider most famous." The Elder "So there has been others?" Superman "Does a rubber duck float?" The Elder "Britney Spears?" Superman "I actually hit it before Justin did" The Elder "Oh Snap!" How was she? Superman "Well, lets just say I never have to worry about Women biting too hard." The Elder "Have you ever had diarrhea before?" Superman "Nope" The Elder "Did we really land on the moon in 1969?" Superman "No" The Elder "So you have been to Luna and did not ever find the lunar module?" Superman "Correct" The Elder Do you believe in global warming?" Superman "Fuck no, just the heat coming out of the asses in Washington DC." The Elder "Is Richard Gere really a flaming homosexual?" Superman "Embarrassingly so." The Elder "I know you are super strong and know no pain, but is Rosie O'Donnell heavy?" Superman "It's funny you ask that, yes but only psychologically, lol" The Elder "I knew it, she is a disgusting fat ass don't;t you think?" Superman "I don't think I know, lol" The Elder "Have you ever thought of taking over the world?" Superman "I've thought about it, but it goes against all my Muslims beliefs." The Elder "Well that's good, what did you think of Toby McGuire's portrayal of Spider man?" Superman "I think Toby McGuire is a candy Ass Monkey boy in a cheap suit." The Elder "Were you banging Kristen Dunst when they were going out?" Superman "Does a fish sleep with its eyes open?" The Elder "lol, what was she like in the sack?" Superman "Pretty much the same way she was in the movie Marie Antoinette when she just laid there." The Elder "I would have thought she would have moved but dating Toby McGuire does explain a lot." Superman "Oh well." The Elder "If you could be a normal human being who would you be?" Superman "David Spade." The Elder "You're kidding?'' Superman "Oh fuck yeah I am." The Elder "Yea, he's kind of an asshole." Superman "Big time, but Joe Dirt was a funny movie." The Elder "Yes it was, do you have any regrets?." Superman "I thought casting Dean Cain to play me in the Adventures of Louis and Clark was a complete slap in my face." The Elder "Didn't you also bang Terri Hatcher?" Superman "I really did, she was a pistol" The Elder "How is that?" Superman "She rode me into the ground like a Ford Explorer two days after you drive it off the lot." The Elder "Wow, I always thought she looked like a chrome polisher. Do you have any children?" Superman "None that I know of." The Elder "Ever had your heart broken?" Superman "Nucka, whats my name?" The Elder "Superman" Superman "Exactly" The Elder "How would you fix the American economy?" Superman "Honestly, make everyone take care of their own damn messes and not depend on a symbol to do it for them." The Elder "So you are saying, if you want to eat get a job and feed yourself?" Superman "Exactly, tha'ts why I don't save anyone anymore, its a waste of my fucking time." The Elder "I always thought of you as a liberal?" Superman "I don't collaborate with Nazis if that's what you mean." The Elder "No no no, I just assumed because you use to do so much good that you were a liberal." Superman "I was leading by example to inspire people to take care of themselves, when they wanted me or the government to do it for them I quit." The Elder "What do you think of Al Gore?" Superman "I feel bad for him." The Elder "Why is that?" Superman "Because he has no friends and believes he can make himself be seen as a savior of the planet. I with all my powers am not a savior. I can't be everywhere at once and I'm Superman. I think Al Gore is not being realistic about his understanding of degrees or studies he never had." The Elder "I think the South Park episode manbearpig summed Gore up well." Superman "I would be lying if I said I don't watch South Park." The Elder "Does Hillary Clinton have a penis?" Superman "Funny you ask that, in 1993 when I attended Bill Clinton's inauguration, I used my X-ray vision to check out that rumor for myself." The Elder "Well?" Superman "Oh, no she didn't have a penis, just a lot of cob webs." The Elder "What do you think of Barak Obama?" Superman "I think he's a great guy but the country is lost no matter what he tries to do?" The Elder "How so?" Superman "Like I said before, too many people no longer contribute to make the country work and have begun to think the government will take care of them. You can't take care of the minority of worthless people when the majority of people no longer want to work to take care of dead beats." The Elder "True that son, what do you think of the bailouts and Wallstreet?." Superman "Once they got rid of the gold standard banks were free to inflate money to where we are now. We are just borrowing make believe money and nothing will come of it. Wallstreet got away with it because politicians are corrupt and so is Wallstreet. If you think about it, why would a politician offer to help someone who can't take care of themselves? They wouldn't and don't. It's all a scam to control people. They want people to be dependent on government. However, they did not intend for all this job loss. Now it will be much harder to control people when they lose faith in the system." The Elder "Wow, so I guess you voted for McCain?" Superman "Fuck no, I voted for Ron Paul." The Elder "Wow, so you were the one sticking his campaign signs everywhere?" Superman "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't." The Elder "Well I want to thank you for taking the time out of your day to grant me this interview, its been a real honor." Superman "No problem, its not like I have anything better to do but watch and wait these days." The Elder "Thank you Superman and all us real men thank from the bottom of our hearts." | 
