 |
 |
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
 |
|
| The origins of Guy Code are said to have originated after the great exodus from Egypt. There is a debate among scholars that contend Guy Code originated in East Jesus Nowhere before Moses went upon Mount Sinai and that is where Moses first learned of this sacred code. This would have some reason of validity considering the wealth of knowledge of the Libraries of Alexandria. However, since the libraries of Alexandria were destroyed by the Romans, the only direct evidence contrary to Moses’ Tablet has to be seen has mere speculation. Therefore, Moses is referenced to hold the first insights of Guy Code and what is now recognized today as Guy Code originated on Mount Sinai. There is a legend of a third tablet that was created after the 10 commandments shortly before Moses commanded not that the Israelites worship the cafe or bull. The Ten Reformed Commandments of Guy Code - When questioned by a friend's girlfriend or less than other, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence. If the guy in question is less than a “true friend” you may sabotage him only if you are planning to lay her or other form of sexual gratification.
- Before dating a “true friends” ex you are required to ask his permission. If he grants it, you must except him constantly bringing up how much she liked it in the ass, eye brow, video tape, etc.
- You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)
- If your girlfriend or girl less than other, asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend but you must ask if this girl has any form of an STD and warn your “true friend and any guy you’ve known longer than 5 seconds”.
- If you catch your girlfriend flirting with any guy you must go over to her mothers house 3 times a week and aimlessly flirt with her mother or sisters until your girlfriend gets the fucking point. If she does not, you are permitted to take the "home Base" option.
- Women who claim they " Love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean and or prove they are not a rolled shouldered DYKE.
- Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have Sex with her. Keep a stopwatch nearby, hang up if necessary. However, girlfriends you are required a 5 minute minimum after the duration of sex has elapsed to maintain a conversation with.
- Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girlfriend, you must attempt one intervention. If he can get up on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "fuck off" then you are absolved from all responsibility. Later on it is OK that you have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about. This however is null and void to any girl less than other without a clear title of ownership.
- The morning after you and “just a friend", have sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to give her a jump again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was and how you should forget it ever happened.
- It is the God given duty of every man to assist any other man that may be in need of assistance in obtaining every guys dream (threesome with two girls) * or by compensating the friend with the cost of an entrée for screwing up the chances of a threesome because the girl in the “would be” threesome would recognize the girl you were cheating on your girlfriend with and you had to have your friend tell her not to show up at the bar thus paying for one entrée for one girl in the “would be” threesome by your friend making it up to them by taking them both out to dinner.
|
|
|