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 | | | Tiger Woods 2009 Guy Code Man of the Year.
The Tiger Woods affair became public knowledge when he was being chased out of his house by a mad woman wielding his most favorite driver toward his head. As Tiger was frantically backing out of his driveway to escape certain angry wife beatings he smashed into an obstruction. Tiger was then rendered unconscious and his wife panicked that Tiger died she would loses millions. Her quick materialistic thinking caused her to pull her husband out of his SPORT UTILITY vehicle and to call police for medical attention. What arrived however would change Tiger's reputation forever and finally bring him closer to the truth of Guy Code.
Tiger made a statement that the accident was just an accident and had nothing to do with the trail of poon tang that was following him. Shortly after the accident US Weekly did a cover story of a Los Angeles waitress claiming she had a 31-month affair with the world's No. 1 golfer. This is very similar to the late Micheal Jackson's habit of banging cocktail waitresses. Woods' words were posted three hours after the magazine released a voice mail — provided by the waitress (home wrecking slutress), Jaimee Grubbs — that Woods left on her phone three days before he rammed his Cadillac Escalade into a fire hydrant and tree outside his Florida home. Now that the heat has hit woods, whores will be coming out of the food work true or not (same thing happened to Michael Jordan).
Tiger did not mention the allegations of an affair in November 2009 statement, saying he would deal with "his wife's unrealistic expectations of fidelity". In private he was being high fived for being the fucking man by the Pro Tour and personally awarded the Shooter McGavon Prick of excellency medal. Tiger was asked by Guy Code correspondent about his decision to waylay hot crushing ass in the face of being married. Tiger followed up by explaining ,"When you win the lottery you get pussy, when you are a billion dollar sports star you get pussy and any woman who think you would be a kept man needs to go back to the land of Oz and bitch smack the fag hiding behind the curtain". Our correspondent teared with joy and thanked Mr. woods for his kind words and generosity and then asked for Woods little black book of home wrecking cheap whore waitresses.
Tiger later conveyed that it was unfortunate that his secret leaked into the public. Deep down Woods feels that his wife had to know that when you can have anything you want why settle for something other than the Kellogg variety pack of poon? It’s not like her dime ass pussy was going to be the end all be all for Tiger’s appetite of slay . She was just fooling herself to think a man who can have anything he wants whenever he wants would be satisfied with one woman. Obviously not considering he was banging 2 more chicks on the side of his mistress. Rachel Uchitel, a New York nightclub hostess who has denied having an affair with Woods, has scheduled a news conference with her attorney at 11:30 a.m. PST in Los Angeles. Most likely she blew Tiger but kept her mouth shut because he was a good tipper.
Tiger was awarded the 2009 Guy code Man of the Year for carrying on a most excellent affair in the face of an un-noticing paparazzi. Those guys really dropped the ball on such a story only revealing itself after the fact of the wife's explosion. Tiger has demonstrated his Guy code ability to not only keep a secret himself but to get the many host of flesh vats to keep quiet as well. With his cool demeanor in the face of revelation Tiger proved to be 2009 Guy code Man of the Year. He truly was the last person to be expected to have an afair being one of the worlds biggest celebrities.
| | |  | | | "Ive had some Transgressions"Tiger has banged over scores of Women while being married and a father. Tiger tells media sources that he regrets his past Transgressions. Transgressions is a clever way of damage control. If you say transgression you eliminate the negative stigma that you fucked a shit hole collection of other womens assholes, mouths and pussy from which you stuck your man saber in with extreme prejudice. I Love how Tiger is averting danger by the use of his publicist's vernacular in regarding his sexual misdeeds while being married. I love it so much. He is going to walk away Scot free with room left to pee on any skank snack who throws her muffin at him. | | | | | Waitress voice mail
In the voice mail released by the magazine, a man says to Grubbs:
"Hey, it's, uh, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Um, can you please, uh, take your name off your phone. My wife went through my phone. And, uh, may be calling you. If you can, please take your name off that and, um, and what do you call it just have it as a number on the voice mail, just have it as your telephone number. That's it, OK. You gotta do this for me. Huge. Quickly. All right. Bye."
The Associated Press could not confirm Woods was the caller. | | | | |
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