The Issue

The issue of Universal Healthcare is constantly discussed in the United States.  After hearing both sides of the argument I am pretty sure we have two choices:

Continue to get robbed by insurance agencies, pharmaceutical companies and other parts of the medical establishment that finance the “research” that ensures most conditions are never cured, but instead creates “lifetime consumers” of the high-priced and high-profit margin medication that keeps patients alive and suffering long enough to procreate and pass the disorder onto their offspring that will also be loyal customers to the same healthcare industry.  

or

Make everybody pay to treat conditions that are largely curable by changes in diet and lifestyle it appears we as a people  are unwilling to make.

I have no idea how we should handle this problem, in fact I don’t even have any plausible suggestions (other than we should all stop living like slobbering imbeciles with a death wish, but as we all know, that’s unrealistic). However, I am reasonably sure there are certain members of our society that do not deserve government provided health care and if my tax dollars or the time/efforts of state-funded doctors ever go to the following people we all need to re-think this idea of Universal Healthcare.  

People over 500 lbs

If a person can’t figure out for themselves that you should not be too fat to leave your house, they do not deserve to live. Richard Simmons or Oprah cutting them out of the bedroom that they have not left since Jesse Spano messed with uppers is not  a triumph of the human spirit, it’s stupid and so are people that watch it on TV. 
 

Also, the contestants on “The Biggest Loser” are not heroes!  There is nothing heroic about somebody that’s morbidly obese, has to leave their families and jobs for 3 months, and be enticed with a quarter of a million dollars in prize money to lose weight.   People that have families, work and have social lives but still somehow find the time and discipline to not be so overweight they are at risk to drop dead at any minute are way more heroic than these clowns. 

People involved in Backyard Wrestling

Medical professionals should not have to waste time or energy to save a kid that jumps off the roof of his parent’s duplex to drop a “People’s Elbow” on another kid so three of his friends think he’s cool.  Professional wrestlers are just that...”Professional” they are highly trained, the events are heavily choreographed and the whole show is enhanced with various kinds of theatrics, and sometimes THEY get hurt.  If you think you can imitate these massive entertainment spectacles in your yard with a trampoline and some burnt out florescent light bulbs you are not worthy of medical care.  Also, I hypothesize that there would be less incidents of this kind of injury if youtube videos of people seriously injuring themselves didn’t get millions of hits, but it’s just a theory. 

People that continue to perform activities that injure them

If playing golf bothers your back and you continue to play you should not have state-funded back surgery and if you spend 20 years eating Thai food and buffalo wings you had to sign a waiver to get served, you do not deserve assistance paying for ulcer/heartburn medication.  If something is hurting you (especially recreational activities) stop doing it before it becomes a medical condition that ruins other aspects of your life, I am not a doctor, but I think this kind of “treatment” might be effective.

 People that get injured while being Spectators a Sporting Events 

I’m not talking about people that get pelted with batteries from drunken fans or people that get beat up in the parking lot for wearing the wrong jersey, these are unfortunate events that should not occur.  The fact that most of these incidents occur in Philadelphia is further proof of what a festering sewer of humanity “The City of Brotherly Love” really is.  I am referring to people that get hit with foul balls, laid out by a 300 pound power forward trying to keep a ball in-bounds or otherwise accosted with equipment that should be on the field of play.  First of all, there are signs EVERYWHERE telling you to pay attention and that getting hit with something is a distinct possibility and you should be alert. Second, you paid good money ( and probably a lot of it) to watch this event, you should be paying attention to what is going on during the game. Third, when something is coming toward the fans everybody in the venue does a collective “ohhhhhhh!” if you are so oblivious to your surroundings that you can’t here fifty thousand people warn you to duck, you do not deserve medical treatment.

Families with more than 10 Kids: 

How about we don’t pump Women with fertility drugs, brainwash them not to use birth control and be so subservient to their meat-head husbands to ever refuse Sex, make them have more kids then they could ever possibly provide for and then celebrate this disgusting bastardization of the family unit by making all of these fools reality TV stars? 

OCTOMOM

 Also, this discussion inevitably leads back to the “Octomom” the quasi-celebrity, mentally unstable and unemployed women that has fourteen kids she can’t feed and is somehow featured in the same gossip magazines as Jessica Simpson’s weight gain and the Chris Brown/Rihanna fiasco.  The real problem is not “Octomom” herself, while it’s unfortunate she’s ape-sh*t crazy, that’s nothing out of the ordinary, there are crazy people everywhere, but the doctors that decided she should be artificially inseminated with multiple embryos while knowing she was not mentally, emotionally or financially able to take care of this number of children.  There are organizations that demonstrate outside cosmetics firms protesting testing make-up on animals, but these same organization see nothing wrong with this guy creating over a dozen human beings with no regard for their upbringing or future.  I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure this is more dangerous to society at large than testing mascara on a lab rat.

People that live with dangerous/illegal animals

If you live with large reptiles, primates of any kind or killer dogs you are alive for one reason: They allow you to be!  People that keep alligators in their bathtubs, raise chimpanzees like children or keep a kennel of fighting pit bulls in their yards are at risk for death or dismemberment every second of every day and I do not believe a state-funded healthcare system should pay to reattach their limbs or facilitate blood transfusions once these wild animals decide they do not want to be held captive in an apartment or trailer any longer.

There is decades of research supporting what animals can be domesticated (cocker spaniels, gold fish, parakeets) and which can not (14-foot long kimono dragons, 200 lbs. gorillas, bald eagles), people that think they are smarter than these veterinary professionals and can somehow raise an alligator in a project bathtub in Newark NJ or drive around with an orangutan in the passenger seat of their Oldsmobile when they run errands are stupid and do not deserve the time or effort of doctors and other medical personnel. 

Also...

This is just the beginning of the list of people that do not deserve government funded healthcare, if you have suggestions let me know and I’ll add them to the next list.